Be your own guardian angel

I have discovered a superpower and I'm going to share so you can be a superhero too. Here it is... I can stop myself from freaking out! Good trick huh?
Last night, I was staying with a friend in Devon. As I snuggled down in bed I experienced the familiar meltdown my body goes into when it comes into contact with feather bedding. I noticed my throat closing, my ears become unbearably itchy and cascades of mucous filling my nose. I often have a pretty extreme reaction to feathers, dust or cats (my lips and eyes swell, I start wheezing, my head explodes with a thousand scratchy critters attacking me from the inside out), but this time I did something different.
I tapped my chest soothingly and spoke to my body
"Hey body, it's OK, you are just reacting to feathers, you're going to be alright, this is NOT an emergency, just fall into a deep sleep and relax, you'll be fine".
And guess what... the symptoms eased off and I slept pretty well! How cool is that? Bodies are remarkably obedient (I discovered this once when I told my son sternly to STOP bleeding and sure enough the gory pumping action ceased instantly).
Another triumphant moment was when I got uncontrollably triggered by my son attacking his sister. I wanted to whack him, but somehow managed to whisper to myself like a seraphim through the sound of blood pounding in my ears
"It's not an emergency, you're flooded, you need space, keep the children safe".
I closed the door on my son, telling him to calm himself and I'd be back, grabbed my shrieking, struggling daughter, chucked her into her room, put on an audiobook, went into my own room and closed the door. I rang my sister
"I'm overwhelmed, help me focus on my legs".
She asked me questions about how my legs were feeling and I returned to my body. I was calm and no-one got hurt, or frightened. Genius.
What I have found most helpful is remembering that when something feels like an emergency it most probably is not. If I can get back into regulation, everything feels manageable again. These examples might sound very minor to you, but what feels so exciting is that it means I get to be in charge rather than at the whim of my reactions. I get to choose how to direct my life energy.
Which situations tend to feel like emergencies in the moment for you? What secret code can you develop with yourself to stay lucid in these episodes?

What if you spoke to yourself the way you speak to your kid?

I was walking up a long, beautiful hill in the wilderness today, with my reluctant 3 year old in tow. She was shivering and taking a few little steps at a time. About halfway up the hill she started screeching "I'm too tired" and "I can't walk" over and over.  

When the black clouds opened and spewed hail into the blasting winds, I held her frozen little hand and she huddled under my long coat . Although part of me shared her concerns about how I'd get a weary, icy Lausbub up the hill, what I said was things like "I know, the top looks so far away...You feel like you can't go on... You are doing so well... You'll make it... Just one step at a time... Look how far you've already come".

And suddenly, listening to her words of doubt screaming on repeat, I felt like I was hearing my own voice. The 3 year old in me that feels "I can't do it" or "I'll never get there" about pretty much anything long and hard that I do. And it struck me... what if I spoke to myself with such calm, patience and reassuring authority?

I've previously been far more likely to agree with my inner doubting 3 year old, or worse, lay on heavy criticism. When I imagine how ineffective/damaging it would be to speak to my daughter like that, it pains me to think how I've done that to myself for so many years. Unfortunately my mother didn't have capacity to encourage me like that, so her rather more critical influence has become my internal voice. I'm pledging to replace that with my own kind mummy voice from now on.